Survival Mode

14 1/2 weeks along! Yes! I'm still living off of Zofran and I'm still barfing but...its getting better. It really is. The nausea isn't nearly as severe, the food aversions have tapered off and I have more energy. We are, however, still living in survival mode. Meaning pretty much anything goes to get us through the day. It may not be ideal, but it's working. Have a glance at our Tuesday morning for example. I find it quite funny now. I didn't so much then.

5:40 Alarm goes off. Try to remember why the alarm is going off. That's right, Emma's IEP meeting followed by speech therapy all starting at 9:00. Stagger to the kitchen and wash down a Zofran with warm tap water. Stagger back to bed and desperately try to fall back asleep in hopes of not throwing up the Zofran, knowing if I lose it, there goes the day.

6:20 Alarm goes off again. Stagger to the kitchen and gag down a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. Head into the living room to adjust the antenna and turn on PBS knowing the monkeys will be up any minute. Head back to bed to lay down in hopes of keeping the cereal down.

7:00 Head to the living room to give the monkeys good morning kisses. Sit down on the couch and snuggle them for a minute. Praise them for being such wonderful kids. Realize the Honey Bunches of Oats are not going to stay down after all and make a mad dash to the bathroom. Ugh. Lay back down for a little bit.

7:20 Begin the process of getting the monkeys ready for the day. Praise Dave for doing the laundry. Remind myself to give him a kiss of thanks when he gets home later. All of a sudden realize Dave gets off at 9:00...won't be home until after 10:00. How in the world did I overlook this?! Think of who I can call. Don't want to bug anyone this early. Realize I have no choice but to take Ali with us despite the firm "no siblings allowed" rule. Oh well, after all what are they going to do? Kick us out? Make little Ali wait for her daddy on the curb?

8:00 Feeling sick. Lay down on the couch and watch 'toons with the wee ones.

8:15 Look at the clock and freak out a bit. Rush to brush my hair, apply deodorant (considerate right? ;)) brush my teeth and throw on clothes and a hat. That will have to do.

8:25 Start herding the monkeys out the door. Feeling sick. Realize I need to eat and that I haven't given the girls breakfast yet. Scavenge through the cupboards. Why is there no food?! Oh yeah, that's right, because I haven't been to the store in, like, over a month. The store is my worst enemy. The lights...smells...endless movement...ugh. Finally, find a bag of popcorn and two packets of princess gummies. Throw the popcorn in the microwave and then head out of the room because the heat smell is making me sick. Come back and am greeted by a burnt smell. Possibly say a little cuss word. Check popcorn, it's salvageable.

8:40 driving down the road repulsed but still munching on semi-burnt popcorn while the monkeys happily munch their fruit snacks. Share popcorn with the girls. Laugh a bit at their super nutritious breakfast and remember the days of fresh fruit and warm, whole-wheat pancakes.

9:05 Arrive for the IEP meeting not only late and toting an extra child but also out of breath and a bit sweaty. No, not because I'm THAT out of shape but because that horrid, semi-burnt popcorn is putting up a fierce fight to come back up.

You know what the worst part is? In this current survival mode I only felt a LITTLE bit guilty about the cartoons and that awesome breakfast of champions I gave to my girls. They're young, right? They'll bounce back.