10 years

10 years.  It seems like so long ago and at the same time it seems like only yesterday. I was recently thinking back to 10 years ago when Dave and I were dirt poor newlyweds living in his grandparent's red-carpeted and wood-paneled basement. The little basement apartment came not only with humongous stalking spiders but also stern faced genealogy portraits (that were almost taller than I was) hanging on the wall and some well-worn and faded, psychedelic couches to compliment them.  Dave and I were both going to school full time and working too (Dave usually 2-3 jobs at a time). We were busy, we were happy and we were dreamers. We dreamed of being done with school, having 3-4 children, settling down in a cute little house in a small/mountain community.  Heck, we even dreamed about getting a lab one day.  Our careers may have gone in a different direction than originally planned and our lab may be on the miniature size but man alive, I do believe we have it all.  Blessed beyond measure is how I feel.  I love this life we have built.  It hasn't always been easy, but nothing worth while ever is, right?  I love that Dave and I have built this life together.

To celebrate 10 years of marriage Dave and I dropped the kiddos and pups off with the grandparents for a couple of days and headed off to a rustic little bed and breakfast in the mountains.  It was a good time to relax and remember US, you know, the us that started this whole crazy mess.  We spent several hours one afternoon cross country skiing.  We would occasionally cross paths with some snowshoers but for the most part it was just Dave and I.  We went skiing with the goal to reach an overlook of the Ogden Valley. We had so much fun we didn't even mind when we reached the top and couldn't see a thing because of all the fog. It was all about the journey. We took turns breaking trail, sometimes through very deep and fresh powder. There was some decent climbing, some fun downhill, some technical spots that Dave had to coach me through, some blisters, some close encounters with trees and some falls (on both our parts ;)) but most of all there was an abundance of breathtaking scenery and laughter. I couldn't help but compare our x-country skiing excursion to our last 10 years of marriage. With Dave by my side everything is an adventure.

Marriage has been on my mind a lot lately.  Partly because of our ten year anniversary but also because I have recently been watching two people I love dearly go through hell as they have struggled to save their marriage.  It's been dark and ugly and absolutely heartbreaking to watch.  I'm not going to lie, watching this painful journey of these two people I love has shook me to the core.  There was one night I was on the phone with my friend and I was telling her how I was going to have to cancel a Christmas party date I had scheduled with Dave because I had 3 very sick kiddos.  She stopped me in my tracks by admonishing me to put my marriage first sometimes. She told me grandmas are great at taking care of sick kids and that she would give anything to have her husband excited about a date.  I did end up having to cancel the date and rush Em to instacare but my friend's words stuck with me. Marriage shouldn't be taken for granted. Marriage needs nurturing. Marriage needs to come first sometimes. The experience has also made me realize you can't let the small problems become big problems. You have to work together against life's challenges instead of taking the stress out on each other. My heart aches for this couple and I pray often they can work things out and find peace. I am grateful for my friend's advice and will definitely use it as Dave and I build up to our 20th...50th...75th anniversary.